Do you sometimes find yourself caring too much about what others think? What other people think of you doesn’t define you. How is it helpful to stop caring what others think of us (at least somewhat)? Keep reading.
“Definitions belong to the definers, not the defined.”
Toni Morrison
This powerful quote from Toni Morrison is not just a ‘quote’ but something that we all need to internalize. How much energy do we give away worrying about what other people think?
Liberating Ourselves from How Others View Us
So what does this quote mean? It means often how people define us is really about THEM, not you. We project our ‘stuff’ onto others quite a bit. Our values, our way of living, our fears, etc. Caring too much about what others think is an extension of our social nature as humans and also learned behavior as we grow up but we don’t have to continue in this way.
So if it is not about you, then why worry about it? Why try to manage something (i.e. what others define you as) when really it isn’t in your control? That realization can be both scary and liberating.
Taking Our Energy Back From Others
What can you do with all that energy back? The energy you used to manage and worry about others and how they view you. I can only imagine amazing things like taking care of yourself, living more joyfully, crushing your goals, or just taking it easy. You get to choose.
Can you think of a time where you stepped outside how someone defined you? What did you gain from that?
Therapy for Anxiety and Healing in Oregon and Online
Are you tired of thinking, “Log kya kahenge (what will people say)”, having arguments via text message, posting mysterious social media statuses hoping that one person will read them, serotonin loading on the humane society’s website, or being confused about what boundary setting means? If so, we can help!