As the child of immigrants, as you grow, heal, and interrupt intergenerational patterns of trauma, you might begin to notice your parents changing.
The Children of Immigrants Have a Unique Healing Journey When Interrupting Intergenerational Trauma
You might notice more softness. More openness. More grace. Your parents may, in a different season of life and through you, have more space for their own healing. There is both joy and grief in seeing our immigrant parents open up in ways they couldn’t or wouldn’t when we were young.
We may grieve not having had that for ourselves when we were young. We might wonder, “what if?” Have you grieved for your past self? The youth who didn’t have access to soft, caring, and healing spaces?
And we might also feel joy for their growth, knowing we may have played a small role in it.
We Can Feel Multiple Things At Once
Both ways of experiencing our immigrant parents’ growth are ok. We will most likely experience both at the same time. It is heavy, it is messy, and it is worth it.
Because you are worth it.
We are worth it. I’ve been sitting with this as I’ve seen this growth happen around me: we heal and it has a ripple effect on systems and people around us. They begin to heal. It is beautiful.
It can also be painful because we might grieve not having had that for ourselves. All of this can be true at the same time. Be kind and patient with yourselves.
Therapy for Children of Immigrants in Oregon and Online
Are you tired of thinking, “Log kya kahenge (what will people say)”, having arguments via text message, posting mysterious social media statuses hoping that one person will read them, serotonin loading on the humane society’s website, or being confused about what boundary setting means? If so, we can help!
How does this ring true with your journey? Your heart?