As we begin the new season, with excitement and anticipation of warmer weather, new growth for the Earth, and longer days, I think it’s an appropriate time to turn that energy inwards, towards better mental health. Inwards towards what? Forgiveness. For self. We are all doing the best we can. At any given moment, the choices we make, the behaviors we engage in, and the living we do, are determined by what we know, have, and who we are. That will change and we will make different choices and engage in different behaviors. As Maya Angelou said, “Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.” Why is this perspective important? Because judging ourselves only adds to the sadness/anxiety/misery that we might feel. Trust that you’re doing the best you can and you’re learning. When you know better, you’ll do better. Forgiveness for self helps us to grow increases our mental health. Have you ever looked back and thought about how you’ve changed? The way you walk through this world? What do you know now that you didn’t know then? How have you forgiven yourself? We would love to hear from you! Let’s forgive and heal together.
Have you ever wondered about your true purpose and the meaning of your life? Perhaps this has been a constant, life-long search, or one that you have had to pick up over and over. Years of research led Brené Brown to argue that when we are vulnerable to fully experiencing our life, good and bad, we achieve that ever-sought-after fulfillment we are all wanting. What does vulnerability have to do with it?
What is Vulnerability?
Vulnerability is defined as “the quality or state of being
exposed to the possibility of being attacked or harmed, either physically or
emotionally.”
From definition alone, being vulnerable looks like a pretty
serious weakness or flaw in character. Why would we purposely choose to
consistently place ourselves in situations where physical or emotional harm are
possible? Well, our being here, alive and on this earth, has pretty much put us
in vulnerability 24/7/365, whether we’ve actively chosen it or not.
To put it bluntly, we weren’t created to sit around
comfortably in a constant state of bliss. Society inundates us with the idea
that we need to essentially do all that we can to avoid feeling negative
emotions. In other words, society only wants us to experience our lives
half-way. Ironically, when we work to eliminate all negative feelings from our
lives, we are numbing our ability to feel the positive ones.
Here’s an example: In high school Jane’s sweetheart broke her heart. Years later, she is still reeling from the painful memory of it. She has vowed to never go on another date and has accepted that nights at home alone are better than the possibility of feeling that kind of hurt all over again. Can you think of ways Jane may be missing out simply to avoid a possibility of a negative feeling? She’s essentially trading the prospect of a beautiful, fulfilling life with the person of her dreams for a watered-down version of joy in her avoidance.
Embracing Our Emotions
When we learn to embrace feeling the negative emotions we normally try to avoid (e.g., shame, fear, guilt, disappointment, heartbreak, anger, etc.), and only then, can we fully experience the best emotions: peace, happiness, worthiness, love, hope and fulfillment. Our lives literally begin to explode with possibilities. What an incredible promise.
Questions to Ask Yourself About Your Emotions
Are there emotions you’re avoiding?
What are they?
Can you see them holding you back?
What are you not getting out of your life as a result?
What would be the worst thing to happen if you went ahead
and felt that negative emotion?
Do you think having what you truly desire is worth feeling
that emotion?
You are destined to do and be all that you could possibly imagine. So, let us all embrace the idea that vulnerability could actually turn out to be a good thing. (Okay, maybe even the BEST thing.) Let it be the state of being that we strive to embrace, to uncover all the glorious adventures that are meant to be ours and ultimately find our life’s meaning and purpose.
Counseling for People Looking to Step
Into Their Vulnerability
Are you tired of thinking, “Log kya kahenge (what will people say)”, having arguments via text message, posting mysterious social media statuses hoping that one person will read them, serotonin loading on the humane society’s website, or being confused about what boundary setting means? If so, we can help!
